{"product_id":"protect-our-national-parks-oversized-faded-tee","title":"Protect Our National Parks — Or We'll Haunt Your Backyard | Oversized Faded Tee","description":"\u003c!--\n╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗\n║  COSMIC CLOTHIER — COMPLETE SHOPIFY SEO DATA                                ║\n║  Product: Protect Our National Parks — Oversized Faded Tee                  ║\n║  Garment: AS Colour 5082 | 7.1 oz carded cotton | Faded Black | Unisex      ║\n║  Engine:  V1.0 | All 16 validation checks passed                            ║\n╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n  SECTION 1 — SHOPIFY PRODUCT FIELDS\n  Admin \u003e Products \u003e [this product]\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n\n  PRODUCT TITLE:\n  Protect Our National Parks — Or We'll Haunt Your Backyard | Oversized Faded Tee\n\n  PRODUCT TYPE:\n  T-Shirts\n\n  VENDOR:\n  Cosmic Clothier\n\n  TAGS:\n  protect our national parks, national parks shirt, cryptid shirt, bigfoot shirt, bigfoot oversized shirt, sasquatch shirt, ghost shirt, wendigo shirt, bat shirt, toad shirt, cryptid national parks, conservation shirt, protect public lands, save our parks, defend our national parks, public lands shirt, environmental shirt, nature lover gift, hiking gift, camping shirt, outdoor gift, park lover gift, funny national parks shirt, dark humor shirt, cryptid lover gift, cryptid streetwear, oversized faded tee, oversized graphic tee, garment dyed tee, faded black tee, heavyweight tee, unisex oversized shirt, streetwear tee, vintage graphic tee, woodcut art shirt, spooky graphic tee, witchy tee, wearable art, haunt your backyard shirt, AS Colour, faded tee, protect our national parks or we'll haunt your backyard\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n  SECTION 2 — SHOPIFY SEO FIELDS\n  Admin \u003e Products \u003e [this product] \u003e Search engine listing\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n\n  SEO TITLE (Page title):                           [52 chars]\n  Protect Our National Parks Shirt | Oversized Faded Tee\n\n  URL HANDLE (URL and handle):\n  protect-our-national-parks-oversized-faded-tee\n\n  META DESCRIPTION:                                 [153 chars]\n  Protect our national parks — or Bigfoot, three ghosts \u0026 a Wendigo haunt your backyard. 7.1 oz garment-dyed cryptid oversized faded tee in Faded Black.\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n  SECTION 3 — IMAGE ALT TEXTS\n  Admin \u003e Products \u003e [this product] \u003e Media (apply in order)\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n\n  ALT 1 (hero \/ front mockup):\n  Protect Our National Parks cryptid oversized faded tee Bigfoot ghost Wendigo woodcut design faded black\n\n  ALT 2 (flat lay or design detail):\n  Bigfoot sasquatch ghost bat toad Wendigo deer skull national parks woodcut graphic oversized streetwear tee faded black\n\n  ALT 3 (lifestyle or alternate angle):\n  Funny cryptid conservation oversized faded shirt bigfoot ghost wendigo dark humor garment dyed unisex tee\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n  SECTION 4 — GOOGLE \/ SHOPIFY METAFIELDS\n  Admin \u003e Products \u003e [this product] \u003e Metafields\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n\n  SHOPIFY STANDARD PRODUCT CATEGORY:\n  Apparel \u0026 Accessories \u003e Clothing \u003e Clothing Tops \u003e Shirts\n\n  GOOGLE PRODUCT CATEGORY (numeric):    212\n  GOOGLE PRODUCT CATEGORY (full path):  Apparel \u0026 Accessories \u003e Clothing \u003e Tops \u003e T-Shirts\n\n  ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐\n  │  NAMESPACE            KEY                       VALUE        │\n  ├──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤\n  │  mm-google-shopping   gender                    Unisex       │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   age_group                 Adult        │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   color                     Faded Black  │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   material                  Cotton       │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   condition                 New          │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   google_product_category   212          │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   custom_label_0            cryptid-apparel           │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   custom_label_1            national-parks-shirt      │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   custom_label_2            oversized-faded-tee       │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   custom_label_3            as-colour-5082            │\n  │  mm-google-shopping   custom_label_4            spooky-conservation       │\n  └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘\n\n  OPEN GRAPH:\n  ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐\n  │  og:title          Protect Our National Parks Shirt | Oversized Faded Tee  │\n  │  og:description    The cryptid coalition has demands. Bigfoot, 3 ghosts,   │\n  │                    a bat, a toad \u0026 a Wendigo on a 7.1 oz garment-dyed      │\n  │                    oversized faded tee. Faded Black.                       │\n  │  og:type           product                                                  │\n  │  twitter:card      summary_large_image                                      │\n  │  twitter:title     Protect Our National Parks | Cryptid Oversized Tee      │\n  │  twitter:desc      Or the ghosts, Bigfoot \u0026 the Wendigo will haunt your    │\n  │                    backyard. 7.1 oz oversized faded tee. Faded Black.      │\n  └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n  SECTION 5 — KEYWORD MAP\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n\n  PRIMARY KEYWORDS:\n    1. protect our national parks shirt    — SEO title, meta desc, body (×3), tags\n    2. cryptid oversized faded tee         — body (×2), tags, alt text 3\n    3. bigfoot shirt oversized             — tags, body, alt text 1\n\n  LONG-TAIL KEYWORDS:\n    4. protect our national parks or we'll haunt your backyard shirt — body (exact), tags\n    5. cryptid national parks oversized graphic tee                  — body, alt text 1\n    6. funny bigfoot ghost wendigo national parks tee                — alt text 3, tags, body\n    7. garment dyed oversized faded cryptid shirt                    — body, alt text 2\n    8. sasquatch ghost conservation streetwear tee                   — body, tags\n\n  All 8 integrated: YES\n  Internal link: YES — Spooky Vibes (https:\/\/cosmicclothier.com\/collections\/witchy-wears)\n  Word count (body HTML rendered text): 447 words\n\n--\u003e\n\n\n\u003c!-- ============================================================\n     PRODUCT DESCRIPTION HTML\n     Paste into: Shopify \u003e Products \u003e Description (HTML source view)\n     ============================================================ --\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eConsider this a formal notice. This \u003cem\u003eProtect Our National Parks\u003c\/em\u003e oversized faded tee carries a message from Bigfoot, three sheet ghosts, a bat with opinions, one primordial toad, and a Wendigo — and the message is non-negotiable: protect their home, or they will haunt yours.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Story\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design reads like a warning carved into a trail marker. At the top: \u003cem\u003eProtect Our.\u003c\/em\u003e Dead center in bold slab type: \u003cem\u003eNational Parks.\u003c\/em\u003e Below, flanked by rules: \u003cem\u003eOr We'll Haunt Your Backyard.\u003c\/em\u003e Between those words, a full cryptid coalition occupies the frame — Bigfoot on the left with the tired patience of something that's been watching humans make bad decisions for centuries. Three sheet ghosts in the center, faceless and floating, the most haunting kind of quiet. A wide-winged bat overhead, its owl-wide eyes locked onto the viewer. The toad in the foreground, crouched and immovable, like a creature that has already outlasted three of your favorite politicians. And at the far right, a robed Wendigo — ribcage visible, deer skull where its head should be, arms hanging with the ease of something that doesn't need to threaten you twice. The whole thing is rendered in vintage woodcut line art, cream ink pressed into the faded black fabric like it was pulled from a 19th century conservation broadsheet. A protect our national parks shirt for people who are done being polite about it. Find more in our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cosmicclothier.com\/collections\/witchy-wears\"\u003eSpooky Vibes collection\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFabric \u0026amp; Fit\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe AS Colour 5082 is 7.1 oz of 100% carded cotton — that's 240 g\/m², the weight class where a tee stops being a tee and starts being a garment. Carded cotton has a texture that ring-spun can't replicate: slightly napped, matte, with a surface that feels more hand-loomed than manufactured. The garment-dye process means the Faded Black absorbs unevenly by design — every piece emerges with a slightly different fade pattern, which is the whole point. Two years of washing won't flatten it; it will only deepen. Drop shoulders push out past your natural shoulder line, creating the proportion this cryptid oversized faded tee was built for: long enough to half-tuck, wide enough that layering is structural rather than accidental, heavy enough that it hangs instead of shifting. Wide neck ribbing holds the neckline's shape after a hundred washes — the detail cheaper tees skip and the reason this one is worth the price.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n  \u003cstrong\u003e✦ Cosmic Fit Tip:\u003c\/strong\u003e This style runs with a true, intentional oversized fit — wide and long by design. Order your true size for a classic streetwear drop-shoulder silhouette. Size up one for a more dramatic, elongated oversized look. Do not size down — the drop-shoulder structure and wide neck ribbing are built around the oversized proportions and won't read correctly in a smaller size.\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eThe Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Art:\u003c\/strong\u003e Vintage woodcut-style cryptid coalition — Bigfoot, three sheet ghosts, a bat, a toad, and a Wendigo with a deer skull — cream ink on faded black, with the exact message: \u003cem\u003eProtect Our National Parks. Or We'll Haunt Your Backyard.\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Feel:\u003c\/strong\u003e 7.1 oz carded cotton, garment-dyed and pre-shrunk — heavy, textured, and intentionally imperfect. A fade that gets better with every wash.\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Cut:\u003c\/strong\u003e True unisex oversized with dropped shoulders, wide neck ribbing, and an elongated body — proportion-forward streetwear, not a regular tee that runs large.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eAvailable Colors\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFaded Black\u003c\/strong\u003e (a washed, uneven charcoal — not flat black, not grey, but something in between that only garment dye can produce)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eProduct Specifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% carded cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e 7.1 oz\/yd² (240 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e True unisex oversized; dropped shoulders; elongated body length\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Garment-dyed, pre-shrunk — intentionally uneven faded finish by design\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNeckline:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wide ribbed crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLabel:\u003c\/strong\u003e Tear-away for tag-free wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrint:\u003c\/strong\u003e Direct-to-garment, cream-ink woodcut cryptid conservation design\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eColors Available:\u003c\/strong\u003e Faded Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSourcing:\u003c\/strong\u003e Printed and fulfilled in the USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold, inside out; tumble dry low to preserve print and garment-dye fade\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmic Clothier","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":51996576350509,"sku":"8640517_17569","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":51996576383277,"sku":"8640517_17574","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":51996576416045,"sku":"8640517_17579","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":51996576448813,"sku":"8640517_17584","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":51996576481581,"sku":"8640517_17589","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":51996576514349,"sku":"8640517_17594","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0690\/8608\/5421\/files\/mens-oversized-faded-t-shirt-faded-black-front-69e233486cd71.jpg?v=1776432109","url":"https:\/\/cosmicclothier.com\/products\/protect-our-national-parks-oversized-faded-tee","provider":"Cosmic Clothier","version":"1.0","type":"link"}